For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been of the “I love my skin tone” school. I mean, how could I not? It’s beautiful, it’s radiant, it has an amazing texture, and dammit colors look great against it. When I see articles or TV shows talking incessantly about how many dark skin girls live in torment over their skin tone, I roll my eyes so hard that I damn near fall asleep. Those who could not see the beauty in my skin need to get their eyes checked because it’s awesome…lol. And who needs some magazine to tell me how beautiful dark skin is (for the record I think ALL skin tones are beautiful—hence one of the reasons why this site has from the start been about helping women of ALL skin tones learn which makeup looks best on their skin) because I can just walk outside and see all the beautiful tones or if I’m in a pajamas all day kind of mood, I can just breeze through my Instagram feed. I’ve always known the beauty of dark skin and don’t need the media to tell me it is.
But why am I like having a SERIOUS case of the eye sweats after learning that Lupita Nyong’o is at the very top of PEOPLE magazine’s Most Beautiful list?
Like seriously, I’m having this triumphant type of cry like when Obama first won in 2008. Like when I ran and jump-hugged my sister when the election results came in (me and my sis are pretty close but we don’t get emotional like that and we were E-MO-TION-AL that day…lol). Part of me is like DAMN RIGHT she’s the #mostbeautiful and part of me is still crying that cry…lol. I STANS (yep improper subject-verb agreement and all) for Lupita. She could curse me out and I’d be like “Did you see how beautifully she just told me to eff off?” I want to see more of her—she’s gorgeous, she’s amazing, she looks SO good in clothing that I can’t afford.
But my dilemma in all of this is—why do we need validation from these magazines? Mind you I’ve written for “these magazines” so it’s not like I’m ready to burn down Fashion Ave or something, but really do we NEED it?
Perhaps I’ve lived in a bubble, but it wasn’t until the last decade that I realized people still have such STRONG skin tone issues and that’s because I’d spend so much of my time on the internet. Oh, the internet. SIGH. I digress, but there seemed to be a trend in the media to talk about how “bad” people with dark skin have it especially within the last few years. I cringed while watching the Dark Girls documentary because while I’m not trying to make anyone’s personal feelings and experiences invalid, I just wondered how in that long drawn out documentary there wasn’t more of a balance in women with dark skin who actually love their skin. Is it that taboo? Imagine that—women walking around actually loving their dark skin. Ha!
But even the #MostBeautiful herself went through a time where she didn’t love her look and shared it with the world in a beautiful speech at this year’s ESSENCE Women in Hollywood event. And as I read the excerpt on her PEOPLE.com photo that says “Though she grew up thinking that ‘light skin and flowing, straight hair’ made women desirable, World’s Most Beautiful Woman Nyong’o, 31, tells PEOPLE that her mother ‘always said I was beautiful. And I finally believed her at some point.’ The Oscar winner, who’s now a face of Lancôme Paris, is excited for this honor in part because of ‘all the girls who would see me … and feel a little more seen,’” I do see that maybe it’s not US who needs that media validation, but the most impressionable amongst us who need it—our little girls. And a vision of all the young cocoa-skinned girls and women seeing someone like Lupita in magazines and on her TV smiling brightly from ear to ear because they see someone who looks like them, is again making me cry that cry.
I could go on and on about this subject, but I have deadlines to make and I need to get a nap in at some point so I can go to the gym tonight (I missed my morning class but hoping to make it to tonight’s 7PM “Inferno” class—lordt, please don’t let that class be scary…lol) so I’m going to leave it here. I’d love to know your thoughts—do we NEED magazines/the media to validate our beauty? What do you think of Lupita’s cover? What are your thoughts on our society and skin tone? Or what did you eat for breakfast this morning—I don’t know…lol. Just leave me some comments—I’d love to hear from you :)
I’ve seen this question posted many times today. We don’t “need” it but it’s about damn time America starts to realize that beauty doesn’t look like one thing. Halle was a breakthrough but not much of a stretch. This cover and honor says to me that people are starting to “get it”. I know u said to comment on the blog (and I will) but I still have a Blackberry and I’m not tryin to have that headache today lol.
Food for thought!!! That’s why I always share your picture posts with my friends. I think you’re just as beautiful as Lupita, and I’m not prejudiced!!!
I agree, I find myself always crying when every time Lupita does something—this is no different. No, we don’t necessarily “need” it, but getting this validation still has value.
Its shoeing the younger generation, that you don’t have to bleach your skin to beautiful. Beauty comes in all shapes, volors, and heights, but it starts on the inside. Embrace the skin you’re in.
I don’t think of it as validating us. For me it’s one of the rare examples of a POC getting the same treatment as any other. If this was any other “It Girl” of the moment this would be a matter of course. It’s refreshing to see that for a change her being a POC didn’t change that fact.
We don’t need them to validate us but respect is necessary. ……just as black is beautiful
We do not need mainstream media to validate any damn thing. IMO, they are having a PC moment. Trust, if Lupita makes one misstep, these same magazines will bash her in a hot minute. Build you up just to knock you down. Look at Halle. After the Best Actress Oscar, mainstream media loved her too. But what roles did she get? Catwoman – smh. Her current claim to fame is her domestic troubles and the paparazzi chasing her and her babies. What about our girl Octavia Spencer? After her Best Supporting Actress Oscar, what roles are she getting? Pretty quiet on that front. Virtually no media coverage a mere 3 years after her Oscar. I’m not even addressing other phenomenal nominees/actresses like Gabby, Angela and Viola. I just hope Lupita beats the odds and maximizes this period professionally.
@M Nanette – that’s my name as well- so cool!
everybody says we don’t, and I’m one of em. But even if you ignore them for the most part, it’s only being honest to say you take notice every now and again, espically when the person on the cover looks like you. So for this one, yea I’m paying attention. I really feel like times like this aren’t the moments to question our need for media validation. Just support the Sister for what it is.
“WE” do not need a “mainstream” publication to validate “OUR BEAUTY”!!! All “WE” need to do is look in the mirror, see it and love it! ????
I am with you! I was on another fashion websites and their commentary to the cover was: “well DUH!”. I had to laugh. But seriously.. “WELL DUH!” black women, regardless of skin, are beautiful. All women whatever their skintones are beautiful. But I think that you and I are fortunate in the sense that we can see the beauty in our skin. A lot of others aren’t so lucky. I think seeing our type of beauty accepted in magazines like People can help others to realize that “Well DUH, I’m beautiful too.”
You know I had a similar internal conversation with myself when I learned that Lupita was named the Most Beautiful Person of the Year. I was all set to purchase multiple copies to preserve for the daughter I hope to have some day. But then I thought, “Do we really need magazines to validate our sense of beauty and worth?” Then I remembered all of my tween years spent poring over issues of Teen, YM, Sassy and Seventeen featuring Nikki Taylor, Cameron Diaz, and other blonde-haired, blue-eyes beauties with features who are the polar opposite of my own…and realized that, for better or worse, the answer is yes — we do need that validation. Even if it may be fueled by fetishism on the part of Madison Avenue…if it will help a little girl (or even a not so little girl) take a kinder, gentler look at the person in the mirror, then I embrace this form of validation…
Agreed. I think that sometimes when we have this conversation, we forget about the most important part of the “we”, namely, our children and young adults. Like CurvyCEO, I remember looking through those magazines as a young girl and seeing page after page filled with straight-haired, white girls who looked nothing like me. And despite growing up in a family where my parents took care to validate my beauty, the messages I received from the media were strong enough to undermine those efforts and I grew up despising my appearance for being “too black.” And I grew up in a country that is 98% black! I can only imagine how difficult it must be for young black women growing up in the U.S. and being inundated with the message that they are not beautiful.
I’m fortunate to have evolved out of that and learned to love my skin and West African features. I wish I could say that the self-hate I experienced as a child was just that – MINE. But there are too many little black girls who grow up feeling the same way I did and they are ones who need the validation…to say otherwise is to greatly underestimate the impact media images can have on the psyches of young people. “We” – i.e. adult women who know we are gorgeous despite the BS the media and society tries to feed us – may not need the validation but our young ones certainly do.
Oops, meant to post this as a response to CurvyCEO’s comment, hence the “agreed.”