Things I Learned in 2017

Man, 2017 was the ashiest year for me EVER! Like whyyyyy was 2017 so bad. I practically had the opposite year Cardi B had…lol. But as a firm believer in “things happen for a reason,” I realized a lot of it happened to teach my behind a lesson.

I’ve discussed some of the rough patches during my ten years of blogging in my #TSABD10 series on my YouTube so if you haven’t watched yet, check it out here. But there have been some really, really good moments during my blogging career: working red carpets, working with brands for long term contracts, writing for magazines, getting to travel the world, etc. Almost none of that happened in 2017…lol. Not that I’m only looking for the bright sides and the perks all the time, but the biggest thing that changed this year that affected me was my income. My first year blogging full time was rough (and you can read about it here), but this year was rougher. I had been used to a certain income and I’ll admit I was more reactive when it came to opportunities for me. Opportunities would pretty much just land in my inbox and I had the luxury of deciding what I wanted to do. Not in 2017…lol. My inbox was DRYYYYY like a desert. I quickly learned that I had to switch things up.

But of course the process of switching things up did not come easy. There were months I barely made all of my bills. Now remember I work in an industry that pays on invoices so I can do work but still have to wait 30 days or even more to get paid. This was something I was obviously used to having done it for seven years but when work was barely even coming in, things got ROUGH. But in all that roughness I was able to learn a very valuable lesson and mantra: “but did you die though?” I had a VERY embarrassing thing happen to me at my local bank branch and as it was happening I was all professional and acting like I was smooth and in control. By the time I got home and no one could see, I broke down and started crying—for like 20 seconds…lol. I realized I could cry and basically do nothing but cry OR I could wipe my tears and figure out an action plan. After all, as embarrassing as the bank encounter was, “but did I die though?!?!” I stopped crying and started an action plan.

As someone who is meticulous about paying my bills and making sure everything is sent in on time, it was very hard for me to be late on anything. (This may also be a Virgo thing, I dunno…lol) I would literally have anxiety over not being able to pay a bill on time where it would almost make me sick. And it’s not like I was sitting around doing nothing to rectify my situation, I was hustling! I was applying for social media jobs, networking, putting myself out there and being more aggressive than I’m used to being but sometimes things just work out slower than we would like. I learned that I couldn’t freak out when things wouldn’t go the way I had planned. That helped my blood pressure and just my overall mental well-being SO MUCH. Like why get all worked up over things I can’t control?

Sometime around September (I was PMS-ing) and things weren’t looking good for me, I told my close friends that I would celebrate my blog’s tenth anniversary in November and then shut down the blog by January. I also warned them to not take me too seriously because I was PMS-ing…lol. But I really felt like I had no choice at that moment. Maybe I wouldn’t quit the blog completely but I would definitely have to partake in other gigs that would take me away from running the blog the way that I do. I wound up being in the process to run social media for a local NYC company and when I tell you I SERIOUSLY saw myself at that position, I SERIOUSLY did…lol. I wanted that job SO BADLY. And I got it!!!

But for reasons I won’t get into, it turned out to NOT be the job of my dreams I thought it would be. Life can be really funny like that. But I’m grateful for every unfunny second.

Around the time I got the job, I also started getting consulting offers from beauty brands. I’m normally the type of person who is a bit more passive in networking, but after the year I had, that technique could not and would not cut it. I learned I had to be more aggressive.

And while things are not 100% back on track, I am doing better. I have nearly three months living expenses in reserves, I started writing for Allure.com, I have very good promising projects lined up, and I’ll be starting another site soon.

I learned that I had to really look at my skill sets and see what I can sell. I mean, I DID sell investments and insurance back in the day—why was I not using that same skill set to sell myself?

(Side note: this year was also the year that the scammers REALLY came for me. I find it funny that they would choose me given my financial status throughout most of this year, but they tried to take me for what I had…lol. I’m talking trying to buy FOUR iPhones on my wireless account, hacking into my Dominos account and ordering BIG pizza orders on my credit card out of state, using my phone insurance to get phones and have them sent to California and Florida, adding addresses to my Walmart.com account, and then as I was drafting this post my bank told me they have to send me a new debit card because of a possible breach at an “undisclosed merchant”—I mean they were really coming for me hard this year…lol. Thankfully it’s all been rectified. But it’s annoying having to check EVERYTHING—like obviously you check your bank accounts and credit cards, but who thinks they have to check their pizza account? lol)

Another lesson I learned came through relationships with both family and friends. I learned that sometimes you have to eliminate or seriously alter some of the relationships you have no matter how long you’ve had them. I was sticking myself out on the line for some people—even financially—to help them but was either met with disrespect or indifference. While I won’t take back what I did, I will never do that mess (to that degree) for anybody again. I’m naturally a kind person, but when I feel like I’m being taken for granted, I want to shut everything down. I also learned that anyone I’m trying to help has to actually want that help for themselves.

I learned a lot of lessons this year, but one that really changed things for me was when I did one of what is probably like a million purges I’ve ever done. I wrote about it here, but what makes this purge different than previous ones is that I actually stuck to a routine that helped me keep things in order. Now I’m actually excited about cleaning—like I’m a happy housewife who doesn’t own a home nor has a husband…lol. It’s hard though juggling work, social life, and keeping things tidy, but I’m trying. I’ve gotten myself into a groove where I’m constantly in a state of cleaning so I don’t have big messes to clean up. I bought a Swiffer duster yesterday and was MAD excited about it. Plus I used the Target app to get $2 off so even more win.

Read Things I Learn Every Time I Purge

So while 2017 was pretty much a train wreck for me for the most part, I appreciate the crashes because they taught me lessons that I can take into 2018 which I’m hoping will be a much better year for me. It’s not always easy but sometimes you have to appreciate the lessons even during times that really suck.

What did you learn in 2017? Big or small—tell me all about it in the comments!